Twenty-five doll hair

Ever wondered what $25 could get you? I’ll tell you…

25 mc doubles (not including tax)

25 bags of chips or 25 peeps or 25 socks, visors, toilet paper, vases, frames, air freshener’s or 25 cheap head phones (dollar store, but a legit one where everything really is a dollar).

Point is, when buying actual items like clothes or games, like really good games, it’s difficult to get many under $25. Being a thrift-store-aholic, I thrive on saving money. My favorite hang is definitely speedway outlet on… you guessed it, speedway. Most of the clothes are not worth taking a second glance on, but the purses, shoes, books and game selection is too legit to quit. I made a pact with myself, to spend only $25 and see how many items I could get. I was impressed with my purchases if I must say so myself.

1. Scattergories (brand new still in the package)
2. Chutes and Ladders (also brand new still in package)
3. Bible Pictionary (all the pieces, yay!)
4. 2 decks of cards (one of em’ had Queen Victoria on it celebrating her Jubilee)
5. Uno
6. Book by Mary Higgins Clark
7. Mille Borne (brand new French game, holla’z)
8. Cookie game (teaches kids how to bake, cool right?)
9. In a pickle (brand new game rated really high).


Sounds like a lot, right? We’ll that’s because it is! I got super blessed and I’m highly enthused. I'm a gamer for sure. The board games will come in handy when I have fellowships at my crib. So how much did I really save? I’ll tell thee. Based on Amazon prices, Scattergories is $60, Chutes and Ladders is $13 and Bible Pictionary is $34. I couldn’t price the deck of cards, but normally they’d run around $3, uno is $7, book by Mary Higgins Clark is $7, Mille Borne is $9, cookie game is $10 and in a pickle is $12. Calculate that and everything I bought for $25 equals $151!! Whoa, that’s an insurance payment or for some rent money for a month. Cray, cray. So next time you’re thinking of buying games at a ridiculous price, go to the thrift store. A good game is like Where’s Waldo, sometimes you have to look in the crowds and get confused and frustrated, but you will eventually find him (one).

Popping and locking

There are few things in life that are guaranteed. Most things are a risk. What a dangerous life we lead.

I’ll tell you what is not guaranteed:

1. The blue Gatorade in the vending machine (they are almost always out! You really have to camp next to a machine and wait for it to be refilled. My suggestion is to bring snacks, a flash light and a sleeping bag).
2. When drinking out of a can, you could be drinking rat droppings or dust (it’s a coin toss every time).
3. That there is toilet paper in a public stall (you know what I’m talking about! That unpleasant experience having to ask the person in the stall next to you, calling out to anyone in the bathroom or having to become really creative).

What is a guarantee:

1. You will die.
2. Frodo does eventually destroy the ring.
3. I will be dancing to the pop-a-lock hold music.

When I call pop-a-lock, I hope and come close to begging to be placed on hold. If you’ve never heard their hold music, you’ve never lived! Bucket list it for sure. It will revitalize your day, change your life and make you into a totally new person.

I’ve heard on many occasions that pop-a-lock hold music sounds like a black church choir and I must admit, with the loud piano and intense voices, it’s not far from the truth.

I can be having the worst day. Customers calling like crazies; call volume higher than the Chrysler building and machines acting out their rebellion… it ant no walk in the park (and I mean the pleasant walks, not the ones where it’s late at night and you think someone is following you so you keep turning around and seeing shadows and your walk becomes more into a run). So pop-a-lock is a godsend. They’ll put me on hold and I’ll start dancing, rolling up and down and like the song says “thanking heaven for pop-a-lock… you’ve called pop-a-lock,” I really am thanking heaven.

So next time you see me dancing like Stevie Wonder, know it’s not because I’m crazy (actually, maybe it is) it’s because of pop-a-lock.



Watch the video on YouTube. Copy and paste this link in browser. Prepared to be amazed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=A5j4JYLMGj0

Ship Shape

In fifth grade, my teacher taught us how to make origami boats.

He destroyed me.

From that moment on, I make the boat allll the time. I’ll use almost anything that is the right size… gum wrappers, napkins, paper bags and tin foil.

Anything.

My hands are like a Jedi, experienced in the technique of origami boat folding. My master taught me well. I was at work chilling when I saw a paper just the right size on the desk. My hands itched and my leg began to bounce. The temptation was too great. I tried to distract myself, look at the computer, phone and time, anything to take my mind off of it. But it was too late.

I went to the dark side. They have cookies.

I grabbed the paper and my fingers went on auto pilot. I made the boat and exhaled. I looked at my work and saw that it was good. I didn’t want to toss the boat so I set it on top of my cubicle instead. It looked all cute and small. I instantly fell in love. I wanted it to stay there forever. Why not? I asked myself. Call centers are notorious for having items stay in one place forever not to diss on the cleaning skills. It’s just a fact.
So I mentally made a note in my head to see how long it’d stay there.

3 days.

I was thoroughly disappointed. I found out later the guy that shares my cubicle had removed it without thinking, playing with it during a call and willing it to disappear. Oh no he didn’t! I made another one out of a church flyer because I figured if someone was going to take it this time and open it, I’d recognize them at church and be like, “It was you!” Then tackle them or something.

7 days.

I gave up and told my supervisor my experience. He has challenged me to make a row of boats on all of the cubicles and see if they are removed then.

Challenge accepted.

Take a lickin' and keep on tickin'

I was at work waiting for a call to come in (we’d been pretty busy with back to back calls) and for the first time there was finally a break. I wanted to take advantage so I quickly grabbed my copy of “Boy meets girl” out of my backpack. I cracked opened the book and delved right in. I was mind blown. I couldn’t believe how different it read from the first time I had attempted to a few years back.

I was reading and re-reading some of the lines that were hitting home most when my co-worker leans over the desk and asks, “Isn’t that a movie? Boy meets girl, right?”

I give him an inquisitive glance, movie? What? I didn’t want to be rude so I shrugged my shoulders, “Maybe. All I know is that this book is based on Godly relationships and doing things right when ‘a boy meets a girl.’”

His eyes were slits.

We’ve had this discussion before. He’s currently living with his baby’s momma. He doesn’t love her, they aren’t dating or planning on getting married, but they want the financial benefit of being able to claim it on taxes. It’s convenient for them. That’s all their ‘relationship’ had become, convenience. I saw a dark cloud forming on his face and I knew he was going to rain on my parade and ask me something or make a crude remark about marriage. It was a game he played, but something I'd grown used to. I was ready.
“So…” he paused for effect. “I know some guy that works here. He’s been married for 20 years. They were both in the military so they got married for the financial benefit. Can you honestly tell me their marriage is wrong?”

I was taken aback. I didn’t know what to answer. Thoughts raced through my mind like hyenas running after antelope. 20 years. Man, that’s a long time. That’s my life basically just add 2 years. I chewed on my response for a while and then said, “I think they married for the wrong reasons. I don’t think that you should get married for the financial benefit.”

Hitting close to home, his face pinched like he’d taken a bite out of a lemon. “But they’ve been married for 20 years! They love each other now… I think it’s fine if they married for the benefits. I don’t see anything wrong with that. I’m with my ex now because of my son. I want to provide the best for him so we live together, but it’s only because of him that we do.”

I closed the book and laid it to the side. It was hard responding correctly without being offensive. It’s like trying to find just the right amount of seasoning on chicken… you want it to be perfect. “I think it’s great that they’ve been married for 20 years and that they love each other now. That’s a blessing, but when I think of wedding vows, I think of my church. I think of when our pastor says ‘the costliest thing is a woman’s heart and a woman’s love.’ I think that when you get married it should be because you truly love each other. That’s the only way it can last. Like that’s great. I’m so happy that they stuck it out, but what if the money had run out? What if those benefits had been taken away? What option would they have had after that, divorce? I know what you’re saying about your son sounds good. Like I get that your intentions are good and you want to take care of him, but the fact is its wrong. It’s not something God honors and you’re going to have to give an account.”

I knew I was rough and I felt a little bad, but I had to say it before a call came ramming into my ear. He stayed quiet for a long time and he pretended he got a call, his back turned to me so I went back to my book.

Later he looks over at me and says quietly, “I think it’s great you stick to your scruples like that. You’re so passionate about it. There are not many people like that.”

I know I’m the last person to be asking about marriage, but after seeing all of my sisters’ marriages, I see the difference. I see the difference when a marriage is blessed by God and when two people love each other. It’s the most beautiful thing. Like they can take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’ because they made a covenant to each other and to God to stick it out. I don’t think anyone should be robbed of that. I think a marriage built on convenience is exactly that… get in conveniently and get out conveniently. But a marriage based on God, based on a strong foundation and full of love, that blessing is for everyone.





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The Face of Jason

There are four things that are guaranteed at a call center.
1. Yelling/irate customers
2. Crank callers
3. Customer’s that will hit on you based on your voice
4. The safety and security of never seeing the person on the other end
Some people join call centers for these very reasons. As for me, I joined because of the money and the fact that I could quickly forget about a customer once I dropped the call. I could make a connection on that call and sever it without harming or damaging my emotions. It was a perfect relationship without the strings. I loved it. That is, until I met or should I say, heard Jason. Opposed to other call centers, Sprint allows us to transfer internally when transferring to the department known as “escalations.” So we could choose to ask that representative to “stand up” and see who we were talking to. And if you wanted to tell them how awful they were over the phone, you could tell them during your break. It was wonderful. But Jason, Jason was different. He was a “work-at-home” representative. So he was still part of our center, just at home. I loved transferring to Jason. I never knew when I’d get him, but I knew it was him from that slurred speech, that laid back attitude he had over the phone and the fact that he was always breaking the rules. He’d be playing gangster music in the background and I’d ask him, “Are you playing gangster music?” He’d laugh in that drunken way and say, “Naw, wait… can you really hear it?” His unprofessionalism always made me laugh partly because he was taking a huge risk and partly because he evoked a sense of freedom that I wish I could have. Because there are so many internal representatives, the chances of transferring to him were slim, but when we did speak, there was always a connection I didn’t want to sever. Unlike the other representatives, I couldn’t ask him to standup or to hang out after work. He often told me when he was coming to the center and to be there those days so we could meet, but those were usually my days off so I never did. So I gave up on ever seeing the face behind the voice. That is, until one day, unexpectedly, I heard his familiar voice when transferring to him. Excitedly, he told me he was in the building. So we both stood up and there he was, the very opposite of what I’d come to make up in my mind. He was tall, handsome with shaggy hair and brown eyes half closed. He smiled at me and I smiled at him. It was one of the best moments of my life, to finally get to see Jason. And since then, I haven’t transferred to him or seen him. I don’t think I ever will again since he works at home, but it was awesome. And I look forward to the next time we talk, who know's when that'll be, but hopefully it's some day soon.

A traitor's review on BK

When I used to work at Dunkin' Donuts, my friends would squabble about what fast food
place was better, Mc Donald's or Burger King. For me, the choice had been obvious,
Mc Donald's, duh! What fast food could even compare to everything Mc Donald's offers,
tasty 99c menu, Mocha Frappe' and the slew of desserts. Loyal to Mc Donald's I would always be... We'll, after some time I decided, why not? Why not try the enemy's food? It's not like they could possibly beat Mc Donald's anyways.

So that's exactly what I did, it was 10:00pm and I had just gotten off of work. Hungry, cold, and exhausted, I looked for a beacon of light in the dark night. I saw
Taco Bell was open, Subway, but what I was really looking for was Burger King. I was nervous, if someone saw me, if they knew my feeling about Burger King, I would never live the shame down. I had to be cautious. So stealthy I roamed the streets, constantly checking my rear view mirror. I saw a white sedan behind me at one point, mimicking my every move, scared, I turned into a dark street. The sedan slowed at the light, but continued to go on.

I exhaled.

Finally, almost home I saw the red BK. I made one last check into the rear view mirror and then turned quickly into the lot. The turn had been so quick that my car started smoking and my tires had screeched in agony.

The horror.

After I stopped my beating heart, I checked the time, 10:30pm. The lot was empty and they seemed to be closed, but the glowing sign on the window said "open late." Relieved, I drove into the drive thru. The order taker's voice boomed thru the speaker, "Welcome to Burger King, how may I help you?" Freaked, I wanted to tell him to keep his voice down. He was trying to give me away, I just knew it. He mustve' known that I was on enemy soil. He might as well had placed a sign on my forehead saying that I was a traitor to the crown.. (get it? I was pretty clever here). My throat constricted as I quickly looked at the menu, cheap. Think cheap. I ordered the Hershey's Pie and the crispy sandwich. That would be enough. I drove up to the window and the order taker eyed me suspiciously. I checked my breath. It didn't smell like Mc Donald's, he had no proof! I paid my soul (food) to the order taker and drove off so fast, I was sure a cop was going to stop me.

Thankfully, none did. When I got home, I placed the food before me. Thanked the Lord for the food and that no one had seen me and also repented for the sin I was about to commit. The Hershey pie was glorious!!!! It was an ice cream, but not, pie but not, chocolate, but was. It was great! I could not believe how good the pie was especially because it had only been $1.39. One victory point for BK, then I tried the chicken sandwich which surprisingly was better then Mc Donald's Hot n Spicy. It wasn't too spicy, it was just right. I had also only paid $1 for this item. Satisfied, but guilty, I tossed the evidence in the garbage can outside. I had gone to the dark side (BK) and I would never go back...

:insert evil laugh:

p.s. I have tried the Whopper from BK, never will I do so again. The bun was the only good part of the sandwich, not worth the money, not worth throwing up and the constant runs to the bathroom to make mini whopper's. Avoid this burger. Maybe it was payback for my treacherous spirit, either way, avoidance is key.

Homeless vs. Sign Flipper

Often while driving to my favorite thrift store, I'll see a sign flipper/spinner or two. I love watching them. Mostly because I'm evil and take pleasure in honking, waving and otherwise embarrassing them especially that one guy that wears the statue of liberty getup. Maybe I do it because I'm grateful that it's not me out there in the 98+ degree weather or maybe it's just because I love honking at people and that's the only time I'm really allowed to.

Anyways, I realized the other day that the flipper is not much different from a homeless.

This is what I came up with.

Similarities
1. Both are outside making money
2. Both work the day shift(I don't think I've ever seen a flipper at night.. it'd be pretty pointless. I don't know where the homeless go at night, but... I don't think I really want to know.)
3.Both work in all weather conditions (one time there was a storm in Tucson, unbelievable as it may sound, and the flipper was out there, his sign covering his head from the rain, the wind almost tearing it away. I felt bad for him, so, I did what any citizen would do, I honked :)
4. Both are wearing a costume/uniform of some sort (this is true, what person would be willing to give a homeless money if they were wearing nice clothes? They must look grungy, it's the uniform)
5. Both are holding signs!
6. The signs are trying to sway people to feel a certain way (for the flipper it's usually a fast food place and people feel hungry even if they had just eaten, the homeless, it's usually to make people feel bad for them)

Differences
1. Homeless are homeless while a flipper probably has a home
2. A flipper is usually cleaner and presentable opposed to a homeless
3. Flipper's must stand their whole shift while homeless have the luxury of sitting down on a plastic chair, rock, or bucket.
4. (This one can be argued) Homeless make more an hour. Flipper's make minimum wage and they don't make any more then that. A homeless is often offered food, money and other things people deem to give them.
5. A homeless is not working for anybody/under anybody.
6. A homeless decides when to quit working and can call in sick whenever they like

And that's alllll folks.