Popping and locking

There are few things in life that are guaranteed. Most things are a risk. What a dangerous life we lead.

I’ll tell you what is not guaranteed:

1. The blue Gatorade in the vending machine (they are almost always out! You really have to camp next to a machine and wait for it to be refilled. My suggestion is to bring snacks, a flash light and a sleeping bag).
2. When drinking out of a can, you could be drinking rat droppings or dust (it’s a coin toss every time).
3. That there is toilet paper in a public stall (you know what I’m talking about! That unpleasant experience having to ask the person in the stall next to you, calling out to anyone in the bathroom or having to become really creative).

What is a guarantee:

1. You will die.
2. Frodo does eventually destroy the ring.
3. I will be dancing to the pop-a-lock hold music.

When I call pop-a-lock, I hope and come close to begging to be placed on hold. If you’ve never heard their hold music, you’ve never lived! Bucket list it for sure. It will revitalize your day, change your life and make you into a totally new person.

I’ve heard on many occasions that pop-a-lock hold music sounds like a black church choir and I must admit, with the loud piano and intense voices, it’s not far from the truth.

I can be having the worst day. Customers calling like crazies; call volume higher than the Chrysler building and machines acting out their rebellion… it ant no walk in the park (and I mean the pleasant walks, not the ones where it’s late at night and you think someone is following you so you keep turning around and seeing shadows and your walk becomes more into a run). So pop-a-lock is a godsend. They’ll put me on hold and I’ll start dancing, rolling up and down and like the song says “thanking heaven for pop-a-lock… you’ve called pop-a-lock,” I really am thanking heaven.

So next time you see me dancing like Stevie Wonder, know it’s not because I’m crazy (actually, maybe it is) it’s because of pop-a-lock.



Watch the video on YouTube. Copy and paste this link in browser. Prepared to be amazed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=A5j4JYLMGj0

Ship Shape

In fifth grade, my teacher taught us how to make origami boats.

He destroyed me.

From that moment on, I make the boat allll the time. I’ll use almost anything that is the right size… gum wrappers, napkins, paper bags and tin foil.

Anything.

My hands are like a Jedi, experienced in the technique of origami boat folding. My master taught me well. I was at work chilling when I saw a paper just the right size on the desk. My hands itched and my leg began to bounce. The temptation was too great. I tried to distract myself, look at the computer, phone and time, anything to take my mind off of it. But it was too late.

I went to the dark side. They have cookies.

I grabbed the paper and my fingers went on auto pilot. I made the boat and exhaled. I looked at my work and saw that it was good. I didn’t want to toss the boat so I set it on top of my cubicle instead. It looked all cute and small. I instantly fell in love. I wanted it to stay there forever. Why not? I asked myself. Call centers are notorious for having items stay in one place forever not to diss on the cleaning skills. It’s just a fact.
So I mentally made a note in my head to see how long it’d stay there.

3 days.

I was thoroughly disappointed. I found out later the guy that shares my cubicle had removed it without thinking, playing with it during a call and willing it to disappear. Oh no he didn’t! I made another one out of a church flyer because I figured if someone was going to take it this time and open it, I’d recognize them at church and be like, “It was you!” Then tackle them or something.

7 days.

I gave up and told my supervisor my experience. He has challenged me to make a row of boats on all of the cubicles and see if they are removed then.

Challenge accepted.

Take a lickin' and keep on tickin'

I was at work waiting for a call to come in (we’d been pretty busy with back to back calls) and for the first time there was finally a break. I wanted to take advantage so I quickly grabbed my copy of “Boy meets girl” out of my backpack. I cracked opened the book and delved right in. I was mind blown. I couldn’t believe how different it read from the first time I had attempted to a few years back.

I was reading and re-reading some of the lines that were hitting home most when my co-worker leans over the desk and asks, “Isn’t that a movie? Boy meets girl, right?”

I give him an inquisitive glance, movie? What? I didn’t want to be rude so I shrugged my shoulders, “Maybe. All I know is that this book is based on Godly relationships and doing things right when ‘a boy meets a girl.’”

His eyes were slits.

We’ve had this discussion before. He’s currently living with his baby’s momma. He doesn’t love her, they aren’t dating or planning on getting married, but they want the financial benefit of being able to claim it on taxes. It’s convenient for them. That’s all their ‘relationship’ had become, convenience. I saw a dark cloud forming on his face and I knew he was going to rain on my parade and ask me something or make a crude remark about marriage. It was a game he played, but something I'd grown used to. I was ready.
“So…” he paused for effect. “I know some guy that works here. He’s been married for 20 years. They were both in the military so they got married for the financial benefit. Can you honestly tell me their marriage is wrong?”

I was taken aback. I didn’t know what to answer. Thoughts raced through my mind like hyenas running after antelope. 20 years. Man, that’s a long time. That’s my life basically just add 2 years. I chewed on my response for a while and then said, “I think they married for the wrong reasons. I don’t think that you should get married for the financial benefit.”

Hitting close to home, his face pinched like he’d taken a bite out of a lemon. “But they’ve been married for 20 years! They love each other now… I think it’s fine if they married for the benefits. I don’t see anything wrong with that. I’m with my ex now because of my son. I want to provide the best for him so we live together, but it’s only because of him that we do.”

I closed the book and laid it to the side. It was hard responding correctly without being offensive. It’s like trying to find just the right amount of seasoning on chicken… you want it to be perfect. “I think it’s great that they’ve been married for 20 years and that they love each other now. That’s a blessing, but when I think of wedding vows, I think of my church. I think of when our pastor says ‘the costliest thing is a woman’s heart and a woman’s love.’ I think that when you get married it should be because you truly love each other. That’s the only way it can last. Like that’s great. I’m so happy that they stuck it out, but what if the money had run out? What if those benefits had been taken away? What option would they have had after that, divorce? I know what you’re saying about your son sounds good. Like I get that your intentions are good and you want to take care of him, but the fact is its wrong. It’s not something God honors and you’re going to have to give an account.”

I knew I was rough and I felt a little bad, but I had to say it before a call came ramming into my ear. He stayed quiet for a long time and he pretended he got a call, his back turned to me so I went back to my book.

Later he looks over at me and says quietly, “I think it’s great you stick to your scruples like that. You’re so passionate about it. There are not many people like that.”

I know I’m the last person to be asking about marriage, but after seeing all of my sisters’ marriages, I see the difference. I see the difference when a marriage is blessed by God and when two people love each other. It’s the most beautiful thing. Like they can take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’ because they made a covenant to each other and to God to stick it out. I don’t think anyone should be robbed of that. I think a marriage built on convenience is exactly that… get in conveniently and get out conveniently. But a marriage based on God, based on a strong foundation and full of love, that blessing is for everyone.





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